Today or maybe for a few days I felt as if I were not being loved enough. A little improper articulation, a long spell of quiet or no phone calls, I feel as though the world has forgotten me; or perhaps only a certain person. My life is so heartbreakingly lonely- I wonder how I have even come so far. Then I look at these foursome around me- the ones who love me more than they love anyone else...how silent they also become when I am suffering, they never demand anything, they never express any hunger or need to play or complaints that I do not take them outside- they just quietly accept my blues, my moods and my vagaries.
I am facing one of the greatest fears of my life right now- and I was not born with this fear; I just acquired it in the course of becoming an adult, when I discovered that even if you love another human being there is no guarantee that they would love you in return or even understand it. Then the way out is to love so many that you are not dependent on the love of any one or any one group. Or is it?
These flowers are here just a sign of hope that even in my garden where things grow with such difficulty, life will happen again and again.
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