becoming more whole

All this while (approx.17 years!!) I didn't realise that I have been very cognitive about my whole experience. For several years now i have been looking at the bi-polar thing and searching it without really becoming holistic in my approach in dealing with it. More and more I have been operating on a cerebral level- seeing things from the view of psychiatry and psychology and denying myself the entirety of the whole process. I have read and read books and yet not been IN the process myself! what an irony. And yet, that was also a phase; so now with this realization, the process towards becoming 'whole'.

That implies moving from the cerebral alone to the more functional aspects of daily activity and not letting the anxiety and the pit in the stomach take over. I have decided that my day is from 10 to 10 and not from 5-10, as was earlier. And I do want to do some real work in this- which is not just the music and all that. I want to include things like cooking and cleaning the house too. Seriously, I never also realised the value of the book After the ecstasy, the laundry- coz i never took the laundry job seriously. Now i am ready to reconstruct myself from head to toe; which means from the cerebral to the worker levels- from yoga, to eating to, health, to networking. god/dog bless me.